i need soothing songs to calm myself.
jaychou jaychou (:
-

i'm still surviving,
still holding on.

but i'm scared
maybe oneday i might just breakdown
and lose control totally.

there's this impending death penalty hovering above us.

i'm scared.

cus i dont want my sandcastles to be built
then get washed away by the waves.

we try.
we try.
we try.
but is it enough?

it hurts me to see their spirit crushed
the pain the sorrow the tears.
):

do you know i cry for us?

this routined, busy life.

if we stop and rest for one day and think,
are all these we're doing worth it?

yes i'll Fight, Fight Fight.
but it sometimes feel like i'm doing it with my eyes closed.
cus i no longer feel the fiery,
the.. DESIRE.

i'm not tired yet.
i've not reached the stage.

but i fear the day
the tsunami washing my body away
towards the rubbish bin of "Throughly Drained, Squeezed Dry".

new opportunities;
i want to take it up,
but can i handle it?

what dont kill you makes you stronger.

i need to trust myself more,
believe that i can do it.

to proudly say after 2 years,
Once a Spark, Now a Flame.

when others seem to have more confidence in me,
why am i doubting myself?

SELF WORTH
SELF WORTH
SELF WORTH.

and i will trudge through these muddy fields,
just to get to the other side.

typed a long long long entry abt how i really felt
abt every single thing,
but decided not to publish it.

insecurities, insecurites.

TSKTSK!

the only thing i can say is,
canoeing is therapeutic.
so are morning runs in the rain.
and singing spongbob songs throughout 14km.
:D

LOVE!